Category: Meditations on Bach’s Goldberg Variations

Introverted

Timid, haughty, withdrawn, aloof, arrogant…those are some of the words people use to describe introverts. Our celebrity culture looks with some suspicion on that quality of being which finds energy in solitary pursuits. It doesn’t mean introverts fear social occasions, but there can be a sense of acting a part when faced with the small talk and jostling for attention prized by an extroverted society. Certainly, it seems like a mistake to confuse shyness (and its associated anxiety) with introversion. I say this with some authority because I identify as an introvert, and the Meyers-Briggs test I took several years ago agrees. Many of us introverts grew up thinking that something was wrong because the stuff of daily interactions seemed to be harder for us than our extroverted friends.  We thought we were socially deficient, rather than simply socially different.  Of course, my much older and wiser self knows that it’s always a mistake to compare my inner self to your outer self.

Popular psychology and TED Talks have some good things to say about introverts these days.  Reflective, non-reactive, observant…those are some of the positive attributes studies confer on introverts. They are people who crave authentic interactions and not ones built on networking and party banter. They are eager to dive into philosophical discussions, and though not very quick to share opinions,  you can be certain that there is a constant inner-dialogue going on that is weighing the voices of past experiences with current knowledge, emotions and intuition.

But in reality, most of us are probably ambiverts – a convenient balance between extroversion and introversion that allows us to behave in ways we find comfortable, depending on our individual reaction to a particular set of circumstances.  Living on the edges of behavior can be exciting or cautious to an extreme, but finding comfort in the middle just might be something to value more, especially in this world of loudly voiced opinions and shrilly proclaimed fake news and unconsidered  reactions.

Goldberg Variation 2 – Introverted

Peace,

Sonya

 *   *   *   *   *

I’ve lived with Bach’s “Goldberg Variations” for a long time now. More than half my lifetime. I would pull them out periodically, feeling that I was revisiting an old friend, but a friend who always has something new to share. I began thinking about Bach and mindfulness last year in a way that meant something to me. Each variation became linked in my mind with a word and that word became something like the “intention” that yoga students are sometimes asked to set for their practice. A word to mediate on and to help draw more from within. For the next 32 weeks I will post one of the variations and write about the word I associated with the music. Sometimes a connection will seem obvious, but more often it will be unexplainable. It became apparent as I worked on this project that I thought about things which I wanted to cultivate in myself, ways of being in the world that were positive. All of the recordings are to be made in my living room, playing the 9 foot Steinway that was gifted to me on January 5, 2016.

 

 

 

Fearlessness

“Fearlessness is the first requisite of spirituality. Cowards can never be moral.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

 

To me, fearlessness means anything except a state of being without fear.  It reminds me of the word “restive,” which also seems to contradict itself with its unrestful meaning. To be fearless surely means being full of fear, but finding ways to overcome and work with your fears, even when that means on some days simply putting one foot in front of another, or looking someone in the eyes and saying something true. It seems wise to me to be fearful, as long as you’re willing to do the work of being fearless.

I know the times I’ve been most afraid are often the times that I’ve felt most called to be fearless enough to take those leaps of faith that moved my life forward in hopeful and unexpected ways. I certainly have my cowardly moments, and surely fall short of Mahatma Gandhi’s words above, but I do know what it feels like to break free of fear’s bonds. And I know it’s something you choose to do, with your eyes wide open.

Goldberg Variation 1 – Fearlessness

Peace,

Sonya

*   *   *   *   *

I’ve lived with Bach’s “Goldberg Variations” for a long time now. More than half my lifetime. I would pull them out periodically, feeling that I was revisiting an old friend, but a friend who always has something new to share. I began thinking about Bach and mindfulness last year in a way that meant something to me. Each variation became linked in my mind with a word and that word became something like the “intention” that yoga students are sometimes asked to set for their practice. A word to mediate on and to help draw more from within. For the next 32 weeks I will post one of the variations and write about the word I associated with the music. Sometimes a connection will seem obvious, but more often it will be unexplainable. It became apparent as I worked on this project that I thought about things which I wanted to cultivate in myself, ways of being in the world that were positive. All of the recordings are to be made in my living room, playing the 9 foot Steinway that was gifted to me on January 5, 2016.

 

Innocence

I’ve lived with Bach’s “Goldberg Variations” for a long time now. More than half my lifetime. I would pull them out periodically, feeling that I was revisiting an old friend, but a friend who always has something new to share. I began thinking about Bach and mindfulness last year in a way that meant something to me. Each variation became linked in my mind with a word and that word became something like the “intention” that yoga students are sometimes asked to set for their practice. A word to mediate on and to help draw more from within. For the next 32 weeks I will post one of the variations and write about the word I associated with the music. Sometimes a connection will seem obvious, but more often it will be unexplainable. It became apparent as I worked on this project that I thought about things which I wanted to cultivate in myself, ways of being in the world that were positive. All of the recordings are to be made in my living room, playing the 9 foot Steinway that was gifted to me on January 5, 2016.

Aria (Innocence)

J.S. Bach’s Goldberg Variations are a journey of sorts, and all journeys begin in innocence. We can’t know where any journey will actually take us after all, or what we’ll learn along the way. Innocence is a word with many meanings, but I choose a definition that holds a lack of guile at its core, and one that implies the optimism that hope’s triumph over experience expresses. The innocence of children shouldn’t be carried into adulthood, because it would become a refusal to acknowledge some of the hard truths all adults face. Without burying our heads in the sand then, perhaps innocence in adults doesn’t first assume cunning in the actions of others, and looks like the open-heartedness that tries to see good in the people and experiences we encounter every day. The more I think about cultivating innocence in myself, the more I wonder if it will lead to wisdom.  Journey with me.

Peace,

Sonya